


Driving Loki Mad

by Palendromical



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Incredible Hulk - All Media Types, Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers Tower, BAMF Bruce Banner, Crack, Hulk Smash, Loki Angst, Loki Does What He Wants, Loki Has Issues, Loki-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-03
Updated: 2014-10-03
Packaged: 2018-02-19 16:36:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2395322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Palendromical/pseuds/Palendromical
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki's master plan to defeat the Avengers by miniaturizing them does not go as planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Driving Loki Mad

Loki’s grin widened at the miniaturized Avengers before him. Yes he thought scurry Avengers and know my might, for I am Loki – your god! “Calm yourself brother” Loki instructed the now hand sized Thor with a malicious grin turning up the corners of his mouth “cease your useless struggles – the fight is over. You have lost and the Earth is mine.” Loki proclaimed smugly, lifting Thor between his thumb and forefinger.

“This fight is not over yet brother” Thor shouted defiantly, thrusting Mjolnir skyward.

“You jest, Thor, your mighty hammer is no more than a toothpick now” Loki scoffed as little lightning bolts coalesced. Thor scowled and smashed his hammer down onto Loki’s thumb.

Loki gave an indignant yelp and tossed Thor into the waiting rat cage that he had taken from one of Stark’s lab for just this purpose. He smirked at his pulsating thumb – already swelling up with an ugly purple bruise.

“You useless idiot!” He shouted at his brother before turning back to the remaining Avengers. He had gathered the unconscious Avengers all onto the table when he miniaturized them, Thor had woken first, but Loki had been dealing with Thor, the other Avengers had mobilized. He realized now that Thor – his idiot, oaf of a brother had been distracting him to give the others time to “assemble”.

Time to finish this he thought with a huff of exasperation while he swatted at the tin man buzzing around his head. He reached down to scoop up the two spies – the only ones still on the table. The archer – Hawkeye drew back his bow in a smooth motion that Loki almost couldn’t help but admire while the skinny spy – Black Widow he thought her name was, began emptying rounds into his already purpled thumb.

Loki cursed but continued his move to scoop them up “You cannot best me with your crude human weapons! I warn you now – cease this or I will forget how small you are and crush you, you insignificant apes!” he shouted out – all semblance of calm deserting him as the archer’s arrows unerringly plunged into the flesh under his fingernails.

Shaking now with his rage, Loki grabbed the rat cage and jerked it to him, knocking Thor off his feet when he did so – he turned it on it’s side and quickly swept his hand along the table knocking the two spies through the awaiting door.

He locked it quickly with a flick of magic and turned his attention to the annoying little tin man buzzing around his head and scanning the room for the two missing Avengers – the miniaturized Banner – he would have thought he would have turned into the hulk by now, and the Good Soldier, Steve Rogers.

He spotted the soldier first on a shelf clutching the lid of an Aluminum can before him for a shield. “This is pathetic Captain, you think to stand against me with your lunch remains?” he chuckled; feeling like his master plan was back on track.

He thinks afterwards that he should have paid his mother more attention when she tried to teach him not to reach out and grab at things, he yelped as Steve rammed the edge of the sharp lid onto his abused thumb, slicing into the well purpled flesh, letting drops of blood drip into the room. No. He thought in horror “NO!” he shouted out loud as his blood was exposed to the lingering spell in the air that had miniaturized the Avengers and he too began to shrink.

He flung the soldier across the room as he began to shrink – he already had Stark buzzing around his shrinking form – Banner was still unaccounted for, he did not need the super soldier near him right this second.

For the third time in the last few minutes, Loki cursed as he realized he had not been holding his staff when he shrunk – he was weaponless – his plan – his brilliant plan had involved taking down Stark Tower’s defenses, waiting for the Avengers to assemble to defeat him, and then blasting them with the miniaturization spell that should have been the end of this. This was supposed to neutralize them he bitterly thought to himself as the now shrunken Loki cast about for a weapon as Stark blasted toward him in his cursed suit.

Loki snatched up a nearby pencil, scowling at the teeth marks chewed into the end and brandished it at Stark as he hurled toward him, too fast to stop. Tony’s shoulder slammed into the sharpened pencil point and his armor skidded sideways off of it. He spun midair and shot Loki full in the face with his repulsor before toppling off the side of the table Loki had clambered on as he shrunk.

“Dammit! Stark” Loki exclaimed before rushing toward his staff which was lying across the room on a different table. I can still salvage the plan – I can still defeat the Avengers, I simply need to walk through the staff’s glow and it will undo the spell Loki mused.

He cast his gaze around the room – the soldier was running this way, but he was still far across the room – nothing to worry about there – his brother and the assassins were trying to pick the lock on their cage, and the tin man was trapped in a tangle of cell phone wire he had landed in.

Loki lept from the table landing gracefully on the floor far below him – he was a god after all. He straightened his shoulders as he jogged purposefully forward, pride and confidence rising up again. Nothing standing in the way of him and his staff – he would get full size again, quickly deal with the Avengers, and then he could begin his plans to take over the world. He couldn’t help but feel a naggle of doubt tickling the back of his mind – what was he forgetting?

Banner. The realization hit him like brick wall. He even paused in his running for a second. Where is Banner? Where is the Hulk?

Loki looked first the one place he would very much not like him to be, and sure enough, there he was, climbing the spiraled leg of the coffee table where his staff lay.

His gut clenched tight as he quickened his pace – no, no, no, no, no. He thought as his feet pounded against the floor.

He launched himself onto the same table leg Banner was scaling and began climbing at a much quicker rate. I must simply get there first. He thought, a sense of doom weighing him down as he realized he could well be facing the hulk when he reached to top. A miniaturized hulk, he realized would not seem so mini while he himself was still so small.

He hauled himself onto the table and saw Banner twist his head over his shoulder to peer at the sprinting god. I am faster Loki thought with just a hint of relief as he gained ground on Banner. I will beat him this time.

Afterwards, he couldn’t help but realize that he may finally understand the Earth saying, “never count your chickens before they hatch” – it was not, he decided a reminder that humans are dull, unintelligent creatures liable to miscount the eggs or the fact that chickens come from the eggs.

Loki, running swiftly, prepared to launch himself past Banner, who still had not changed – the monster would not know to cure his teammates with the staff he realized. This is definitely to my advantage! He laughed as he gave Banner a shove as he hurled himself past Banner. “Clever plan! Banner!” Loki exclaimed over his shoulder as Banner clambered back to his feet, a slight green tinge to him that Loki couldn’t help but notice.

“Ah, ah, ah” Loki tutted “If you transform now, what good will you be to your friends?” Loki paused just outside the glow of his spear and turned back to the panting scientist still running to catch up.

“I think you’ll be surprised at the good I can do” Banner claimed as he let the Hulk overtake him.

Damn Loki thought as Hulk seemed less to transform out of Banner, and more like he exploded out of Banner and launched himself at Loki in less than a second.

Loki and Hulk tumbled into the glowing circle of light together, exploding upwards in a rush of sound as Hulk roared, Loki screamed, and the table they stood on splintered.

Loki felt the rush of air and the crunch of flooring below him that was Hulk’s special version of fighting that Loki loathed so much. He found himself unable the resist the lure of darkness calling to him as his head smacked into the floor over and over again.

It was ten minutes later, that Loki, blinking, opened his eyes to bars above him and all around him. He felt warm blood scabbing over his forehead and upon seeing the bottle affixed to the side of his cell realized his adventure with the Hulk opened a fresh flow of blood, leaving him miniaturized again. He eyes came into better focus and he peered beyond the walls of his cell.

There, above him, stood the six, now seemingly supersized Avengers. This is just not my day.


End file.
